Hello, Papa! You asked me to speak about “change”, so here goes!
For me, not to be afraid of change is not to be afraid of living.
Besides, my experience in relation to change starts with a very strong word: ENVIRONMENT. But to understand more about this last and very important word, let us define its meaning: environment is the ambience that surrounds somebody or something. And, in more detail, it refers to the space that encircles us, that surrounds us, and with which we permanently interact. This space can be virtual or real, depending on what environment we are referring to. It could be a natural environment, physical, social, economic or political, etc.
During my childhood and my early adolescence, my ENVIRONMENT was my mechanism for measuring the success or failure of my everyday life. That is to say, it was the environment that took the control, so that I was constantly sitting an exam whenever I was taking decisions about life itself. How crazy is that? Our life being moulded by the pressure and advice of the SUBJECTS that form our environment. Well, now it is important to define the meaning of this new word: subject. In philosophy, subject refers to a human being who is actor of his acts.
Now, if the environment is what surrounds a person and the subject is the actor of his acts, so:
FUCK IT, what have I got to do with these two!
That is why I move about within the environment, I connect with the subjects, I learn from them, but both of those things do not possess me anymore. This translates as:
They do not tell me how much money I must have!
They do not mould my ideal woman for me!
They do not tell me which friends I must have!
They do not tell me what I must buy or what assets I must possess!
They do not tell me where I must live or work!
And, the most important thing of all, they never make me sit an exam …not anymore!
So, now I have changed. I am already another person. I am my own examiner and I prepare myself for my next examination. I love my family, my friends, my schoolmates, my colleagues, my new habits and a lot of other things as well.
BUT…YOU GUYS ARE NOT TO BLAME!
Following on from my own reasoning, if I am the subject and if I belong to the same environment as you, then I am directly to blame, too. In fact, I am the only one who is to blame!
FUCK!
I had to go to hell and back, and move very far away, in order to realize this…ha ha ha…and, yes, I did it!
Sometimes one needs to make a strong CHANGE of environment in order to be able to feel more free and better about oneself. To be a witness of oneself is very important. It is the moment when stability arises in general, creativity, love, health, sports, good food, travelling, exciting adventures, and true problems. My focussed and definite change has been to achieve my enjoyment of the simple things.
AND FROM THE FIRST MOMENT WE START SAVING!
I do not say that there will not be any suffering. Nor that we shall not miss our loved ones because of distance. I do not say that we will not worry. I do not say either that it does not need any effort. It is part of the same package.
My name is Matias. I hope my change inspires others who are thinking about it. For me, moving from Argentina to Australia has been the most important story of change in my life so far. My total change of environment helped me to find myself and to take responsibility for my emotions and fears. I found myself again with that genuine trust that we all have when we are children. Now, a little older these days, to trust in myself generates a lot of stability in me.
“AHHH, NIIIIIIICE!!!!!” as my little sister, Caro, would say – she, whom I love and miss terribly. “IT IS BETTER THAN CHAMPIGNON PIE!” as Mama would say. Not to mention the money that I have saved on having to buy medicines for anxiety and stress…yes, yes…and we continue saving!
Nowadays I do not possess a lot of material things. I have decided to live always near the sea. I do a lot of sports. I am always in contact with nature. I have a girlfriend whom I love very much and I have a lot of friends. I exist with them, I learn from them, but my existence only depends on me.
THERE IS NOBODY ELSE TO BLAME!
Today I am responsible for myself. There is no outside person to blame. I look around my environment, I study it, I use it, I let it show me things, but I never let it control me as it did before my change. This will never happen to me anymore.
Yes! …I learned! Son of Tiger has come out!
I dedicate my story of change to my Papa, whom I love with all my soul, and who inspires me every day with his search for happiness.
Matias
Pai, Thailand, April 1st 2015